At war

I'm fine
I'm doing so much better
I have more energy
I'm getting some passion for things back
But there's a war inside me
 
Because then all of a sudden I'm an emotional wreck
I'm angry, sad, upset and everything annoys me
All I wanna do is be on my computer or sleep
I don't wanna feel
I don't wanna think
But I know avoiding and hiding will only make everything worse
 
Two sides of me are fighting
They're at war and have been for over a decade
I decide the outcome
Do I surrender or do I fight?
Fighting is hard and seems hopeless sometimes
But I have to
Surrendering means giving up, giving up on my life
 
There's nowhere to hide
There's no temporary truce
No cease fire
When you're at war
 against yourself