Another small step

I started to wash Gene's clothes that have been lying in the laundry room for the last three months.  I was anxious about how I would get through doing it, but I managed to get two loads washed, dried and folded without crying through the process.  I'm going to just stack them in his closet for now as I am not ready to go through and get rid of them yet.  That time will come sooner or later.  One step at a time.   I wake up crying almost every morning and this morning was no exception.  How many tears can I cry?  How much pain and sorrow can one person handle?  I've been crying for three months and three weeks now and I don't see any end in sight.  Will I always feel this way?  Will the time ever come when I can look at Gene's picture and not fall to pieces?  I know from some of you that, yes, the day will come and I just need to be patient with myself and get through the grief one day, one step at a time. There will be a fireworks display tonight here in town.  They take barges out into the Chesapeake Bay and the reflections on the water are just beautiful so I'm going to walk down and watch tonight. It's overcast here today so I'm hoping it clears up so the display can go on.  Don't know what I'll do today.  I've been fighting ants in my kitchen.  Those little buggers are amazing.  Seems they appear out of nowhere.  Yesterday I killed a bunch then stood there waiting for more to reappear so I'd know where the were coming from.  Not a one came out, then I leave and go back and there they are again.  Do you think they know I'm standing there waiting for them?  (LOL)  I wish you all a Happy 4th and hope you have a good weekend.