another night

Practicing breathing, hoping a few minutes of meditation will help me sleep and forget about the stress with my boyfriend and family.  I know I'll never kill myself, ever, but the feeling of wanting to has taken up space in my heart and doesnt want to leave. I'm trying so hard to let go of the past, its way more difficult than I thought. 

I just need to be patient and keep at this. Theres gotta be a way to kill it off. hahaha irony.