Another awful day-anxiety
Always with the bad dreams...of which I can't remember a single thing other than they leave me feeling anxious and sick. I am so tired...he is back to sleeping in the living room again. He does not comfort me even when he is there. Some nights when it's really bad it is comforting just to have someone in the room. I am always so alone...clearly my mother will no longer be there for me. she only creates the drama. I emailed my real father and received no response. Clearly the novelty of having found me after 30 years has worn off. I have a lot of homework to catch up on from the week I was gone. My body aches so badly this morning..it's no wonder I have no peaceful sleep. My arm is so sore...that flu shot nurse was one brutal bitch. I let HR know so hopefully we will not have her again next year. Even my tough guys were complaining. Off for my half day furlough friday....it is still nice having that extra half day off even if I am usually anxious I am hoping I will become accustomed to it eventually. It's really the oddest feeling to be so tired and yet unable to rest..
Replies
I\'m not sure about your relationships. I think you mentioned he\'s an alcoholic.
When we are emotionally deprived, it\'s very easy to think we are less than people. We were made to love others and be loved in the process.
Seems to me as though you might do better with someone else. I hate to put it in those terms, but love is built upon reciprocity.
If you\'re only giving and not getting, you\'re gonna get worn out.
There\'s not a law in the land that says you HAVE to stay with someone. You\'re free to go...whenever, wherever, whyever.
Stress gives fitful sleep. Our subconscious brains are trying to make sense out of our waking lives -- trying to resolve our issues we collect during our waking moments.
Wow, what kind of person can make a flu shot torture - ouch!!! I still have to get mine at Kaiser.
You have to decide what works best for you where your BF is concerned. It is good that you accept your mother\'s situation and that is awful with your real dad dumping you as he has. I never knew my father as my parents split up before I was born. Just an empty place in me where a father was to be. My husband\'s love and care brought a lot of healing into my life.
I hope you get caught up on your studies soon and have at least that under control to allow you to rest better.
Take good care.
:-) Patricia