Anger - blue belle

TRIGGER WARNING!!

In today's meditation I pictured the dad with little belle.  He slowly morphed from a good looking man into a thing with a bald head that seemed to balloon, while the rest of his body seemed to elongate and grow tall and thin, he seemed to grow additional extremities (arms and legs) to entangle me, skin sallow and grey, thick wirey brows, eyes squinted, jaw clenched, one tentacle is around my neck - why do I think he’s choking me? other extremities are in other regions  on my body - I feel nothing.  Blue belle (she emerged from digital bell ) immediately jumps out in front of this vision and blocks my view. She says that everything is fine and that there is nothing to see  because she is magical and  sprinkles a blue star dust that turns the scene into a romantic movie projection that is more of a love story than a horror story -50's style, more blue than black and white.  I feel dizzy - and light headed and turned on.  From digital belle a yellow-green belle also emerged who is “holier than thou”.  She believes she is better, prettier, better than all others.  She must be these extremes to counter the exact opposite of what belle really feels.  There is also red-hot belle who is more of a "kaboom!" looking expression from a comic book than any sort of real person.  She is also blocking real belle. She is rage and can appear at any time when I'm feeling triggered.  I softly knock on the shell of the snail where the real belle hides.  I tell her i'm not going anywhere.  I tell her she is innocent and  loved.  I tell her I will wait.  I tell her that all the colorful belles she created for protection are sheer genius! I tell her I know how she feels because she reveals her fear and shame sometimes - it's dark, cold,  and all encompassing.  but we are here now and we are safe.