and so it continues...

I am sick every day now.  I wake feeling that way and it comes and goes throughout the day.  He said he needs time to figure out what he wants to do and I am trying to be patient but I have no hope that we will work it out this time.  He is the only constant in my life and I feel the panic just writing this.  I am having to face that I may have wasted over a decade of my life on this relationship only to end up old and alone.   I don't have any care for the homework left undone and thoughts of going to class tonight are overwhelming.  I came to work mostly because I know sitting at home thinking would only make the anxiety worse and I need the job.  I have no one and I belong nowhere and all I want to do is sleep and not wake up but that would be too easy and I did not sleep well. 
 I have not taken any extra meds.  There seems no point.  I am sick no matter what.