All My Work Today Just Got Canx'd
I am an analyst for the government, and today I was going to have a very full day of metrics analysis work and monthly reports. But... the government now only wants to look at a subset of that data and they must retool some of the software parameters. So a very busy day has been reduced to email filing. Kinda nice. Like a day off in the middle of the week.
Now the highlight of my day is seeing my therapist.
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Seeing my psychiatrist was the highlight of my day yesterday, Thor, so I know what you mean by saying that seeing your therapist will be the highlight of your day today.
I'm supposed to be on a Zoom meeting online with my boss in a virtual departmental meeting she called to start off the school year, but I can't do two things at once. My rental apartment's toilet broke and flooded my bathroom yesterday. I't lucky I was home and could turn the water off so it wouldn't flood the whole house. I'm waiting for the landlord to show up with a plumber so they can take out the whole old toilet and install a whole new one.
It's always something, huh?
Muji - you have your hands full. I get days like that a lot.
Not looking forward to the therapist in reality. She wants to talk about one event in my PTSD that I have a great deal of shame and anger over. I just want to run from that experience. I can't stand to think about or observe it.
So I'm watching TV or having it on for background noise. Star Trek, the Next Generation. All the episodes are on Netflix. One of the characters in this episode went to a psyche hospital sometime in his past. The show played that experience of the character as negative and now he is someone to watch. Untrustworthy. Unreliable. The hospitalization was played as a huge negative. I wonder what they would think of my four stays in the funny farm.
Thor, it's good when you have a chance to relax a bit from those necessary reports to just a portion.
The shame and anger of an event ... and the hold it has that you don't think nor observe ... those are really humdingers. I hope today brings some quiet and calm to help you move just a piece of the puzzle.
Muji, so glad you were home to turn off the water.
Thor, take advantage of this time to relax. I know when I worked it was hard to get time off, even to take just a break. I have a therapist appt today too. I understand what you are saying about discussing PTSD traumas. While I really like therapy, discussing trauma is painful. Hope you can find some relief in meeting with your therapist. I hope your day is calm and peaceful.
Muji, I feel for you. I had a pipe burst in my bathroom wall a few months ago. It flooded the bathroom and bedroom. We had to completely redo parts of the bathroom and wall in our bedroom. It was lucky that you were home and able to take care of it,
My plumbing was fixed fast! If only things at work were fixed as fast as that.... :-)
Whatever that event was in your past you were going to discuss w your therapist, that event that caused you lots of shame and anger, I hope you got through that session about it ok, Thor. I know how tough sessions like that can be. It took me 12 years of weekly therapy to get around to talking about my main event in my past.
As to how people look at folks who've been consumers of mental health serviced, in-patient or out-patient, it's a real stigma, yes, but that doesn't make it any less silly. Imagine if we were suspicious of anyone or everyone who ever was in the hospital to get their tonsils out. Until the public comes around, it's best to keep hospitalizations private, and thank goodness there's HIPPA law for that. But ultimately it is just nonsense.
Muji - glad your plumbing was fixed so fast.
I agree with you on the hospitalizations. HIPPA is good. I only wish that I had. I think I am doomed to forever work for companies that are HIPPA exempt. I work at a classified job and the rules are a bit different. Looks like they don't care that I was hospitalized but the government and my clearance are in jeopardy.
Hi Thor, it depends on the government job as to what level of clearance is required. I was concerned about my work with the sheriff’s office because I get background checked, but my CO is ok with me returning for volunteer work.. I have access to a lot of confidential information and security clearance badges. Here is a site on how to get clearance. I think your Pdoc just needs to fill out forms saying you are stable. .
https://www.thebalancecareers.com/how-to-get-security-clearance-for-employment-2059604
Secouya - thanks. I’ve had a clearance for over 35 years. I had my therapist and psychiatrist put in letters on my behalf. So I’m covered that way. I’m only getting a secret clearance so it shouldn’t be that big of a deal.
Hope it's not that big of a deal, Thor. When I went up for tenure and my community service as Community Leader here at Daily Strength came out, an entire extraordinary tenure committee session was called just to talk about PTSD, not because I showed any negative symptoms, but just because I volunteered here. The stigma is real.
My goodness. I deleted my response when I saw Muji's response as Muji hit the nail in the center.
Muji, an entire session on PTSD just because you volunteered here? I am shaking my head, how is volunteering here something to be measured for tenure?
I agree, stigma is real, for everyone, just from what I'm reading here.
Best wishes.
Unfortunately it’s true. There is a lot of stigma around anything deemed as a mental illness. Too many people have false knowledge based on movies and the media. Best wishes.