Abandoned
At times I feel so abandoned...it has happened gradually, the way everyone has said. Friends slowly move away, maybe not even intentionally...but the distance grows. Invitations don't come around like they used to, but to be honest most of the time I turned the invitations down...or tried, and was unable to follow through...due to anxiety, depression...I think facebook is not good for me at times. It seems everyone is out living their lives except me and they have forgotten about me...I suppose everyone feels this way at times.
Replies
That is what social media is all about... Telling everyone what you are up to and I\'m sure if you are on FB it feels as if everyone is living these very full lives except for you...
Life does move on for everyone and the pace is accelerated it feels except for those experiencing a loss. For me, time is such a strange thing... Some things feel like just yesterday and others an eternity.
With you and understanding and it takes courage to reach out to others when you are ready to. In those early weeks and months I had no energy to do anything socially and it still takes courage now to go out of my zone and try to connect with others.
Understanding your feelings and I do think everyone does feel abandonment at different times in their lives. You are certainly not forgotten here dear Gina nor will your Cassi ever be.
Loving care,
XO Joanie
Hi Gina: After I lost Lisa, I discovered who my true friends are. There are a lot who have gone as well. I guess they were not my true friends.
Facebook is a double edged sword. It keeps us in touch but it also is a constant reminder of what we have lost.
The feeling of abandonment is real and I think we have all felt it.
You are absolutely not forgotten here.
Love and huge hugs,
Marlene
I completely understand but remember that you are not forgotten by any of us. We have all felt that way. I sill do a lot and think that some of it may be my own fault because I don\'t reach out to anyone. I keep all my sadness and thoughts inside because I think nobody can understand how I feel so I end up isolating myself. If I could give any advice I would hope that you will not do that and reach out.
I like to think that people don\'t mean to hurt us, they just don\'t know how to react around us any more.....well, that and some people are just stupid! I don\'t do Facebook for the very reasons you mentioned - for me it\'s painful to read what all David\'s friends are doing but he\'s not, so I guess it\'s one way I protect myself through all this, so to speak. I don\'t think there\'s any wrong or right way to do grief or any wrong or right feelings - things do change a little as time passes, though. Look after yourself and take care ~ Joanna x
I can relate to you and can feel the way you feel too and it is not an easy feeling to feel. I hope and pray you feel better. I am glad to be friends with you. Hugs and love.
Yes, the same thing haappened to me, when my husband died. After losing my son, it happened again. I can certainly relate. I go to facebook, to keep up with friends, but mostly to play games, to keep my mind off the pain...
((((HUGS))))....Julia
Hi Gina,
I feel abandoned, too, by my former friends. Maybe they think this is contagious. We survivors not only face grief, depression & anxiety; now we also have to deal with \'friends\' who don\'t want to be around us anymore.
A real problem with FB for me is that everyone is always posting pictures of their families ( INTACT families, completely untouched by loss). And from the day of my son\'s funeral, their lives have gone on perfectly normally. It\'s US whose lives aren\'t normal any more. Now it seems, we\'re just people to be pitied. We\'re in the \'So Sad\' club. As in, \"It\'s So Sad about their son/his brother, isn\'t it? Poor things, yada, yada, yada... Listen, who wants to be around THEM? I can\'t invite THEM to our next BBQ- I want to have a GOOD time!!!\"
And so it goes.
Yes, I also feel totally abandoned. Maybe because the people around me just carry on with their lives, while my life is empty now.
Warm hugs, my friend. xxx
We really find out who our true friends are when we lose someone. They have no understanding of the loss of a child. We are the ones who feel abandoned, and lost. No life nothing but tears... They have everything they had before...
I do hope you will soon have new friends, you will find out just how many people have lost a child and they will come into your life and touch yours.
Be strong sending you hugs
Penny
You are my new friends...my tribe...just wish we weren\'t so spread out.
Yeah, me too. Few friends, and rarely seen. Illness separated me even before the death of my beloved Jacob. No one needs a sick friend, and cancelling out of all obligations endears me to no one. Grief is hard work, fattening, and separating from death virgins.
Here you are very welcome and cared for. Couldn\'t get out of bed to meet you today, anyway. Love, Abby
The part that no one but a Mom understands is that others do get on with their lives and they can pretty much go back to what their life was before. A Mom has a physical and emotional connection with her child, no matter the age, and that part can never be replaced. The only thing that happens for us is that as time goes on, we learn to tolerate the pain better. Here is where we understand that pain and I\'m sure that you feel as the rest of us do, we really do not want anyone else to have to experience that pain to understand what we are going through. Sending love, hugs and prayers for peace...Lynn