a new chapter

I haven't written in a while.  I have been trying to come to terms with shocking news and getting myself together. 

After the holiday weekend I got sick with what I thought was a UTI.  Turns out, although I did have one, I also have hsv2.  At this point I am still assuming it came from this guy I started dating since symptoms commonly develop within 4 to 12 days.  I haven't told my ex yet.  We had not been together in so long the likelihood of it being from him is small. 

This is just how my luck rolls...Only I could go out after 15 years of one man and pick the wrong one.  Been having lots of panic and anxiety.  This guy has still not "had time" to go and get tested so that makes me all the more certain that it was him. 

Trying to pick up the pieces again.  I was in such bad shape last week that I drove down to see my mom in San Diego for the weekend.  I found that I didn't really want to come back here.  Although I am afraid to change jobs and that I won't be able to support myself in that city's economy, I am leaning more toward moving down there and at least having family available.  My mom is all I have left and I often feel like I am wasting time that I could still be spending with her.  Lately that voice is getting louder. 

Never say that things cannot get any worse...they ALWAYS can.