a dream about my inner child
I had a dream last night about my inner child (I don’t recall ever having a dream like this before, so it’s kind of cool). Anyway, I wanted to share it and well, this seems like a good place to do that. It’s a simple dream really that takes place in my childhood home. This is the home where all of the abuse occurred and my family went through some terrible times there. When I was a child, I was afraid of the house itself. There were a few things that frightened me considerably; the fire in the furnace in the basement (on account of the Nightmare on Elm Street movie)and the upstairs attic. I was young when the Poltergeist movies came out and of course I was allowed to watch them even though they terrified me. Also, my older sister was into the occult. She used to try to talk to spirits though the Ouija board or using a pendulum. The pendulum would swing on its own. The Ouija board scared the crap out of my sister and her friends once; I’m not sure why…. Anyway, she had me convinced that our house was full of spirits, and she talked about evil spirits.
Now when I think back, the house did have a very evil intense energy to it. But I think the “evil spirits” were things like shame, sadness, fear, anger, hatred and other emotional energies which lingered. Those were hard times. Anyway, the upstairs attic was especially scary. The entire upstairs was one large room, and there were crawl spaces on either side. The room had the pitch of the roof and the crawl spaces were on the sides where the ceiling was low. You could enter the crawl space from one end of the room and exit at the other end. Inside it was dark, but if you had a flashlight you could see the trusses and insulation. We would step from one beam to the next, over the insulation and pass from one end of the room to the other. It was a dark creepy place. To top it off, we turned it into a haunted house once and brought the neighborhood kids though. I had a dream when I was a child that my toy soup can rolled into this crawl space and I went in after it. Inside was a spiraling staircase that went down into the pits of hell and all these people were crying out in pain, and burning. I don’t know where I came up with that, but let’s just say, the crawl space terrified me.
So anyway, I am me in the dream, my age… and I am with my inner child. She doesn’t exactly look like me and her name is Danielle, but I still think this child represents me. She was really excited to see me and she wanted to show me something. She led me upstairs and into the crawl space. In my dream the crawl space is a little bigger than it actually was and there is a light in there. There is also a floor and walls. It’s her bedroom. Her bed is in there and her toys and it’s like her hideout and she loves it. Meanwhile, I was scared upon walking into it and relieved when I saw that there was a light. I’m trying to understand why she is not afraid. I look around and down the room a little ways and it is still a corridor and there is a dark end to this corridor where this is still no floor or drywall. I start to imagine that spiders probably live in there and I’m afraid of it. She is not. She is happy and confident and just fine.
I’m not thrilled about the idea that my inner child lives in a small dark attic space, but I’m thrilled to see that she is not afraid of the things that have frightened me so much. I hope this is may be like a premonition and that I can now cast away my fears also. I’d be so much more free if I were as comfortable and she was without fear.
Now when I think back, the house did have a very evil intense energy to it. But I think the “evil spirits” were things like shame, sadness, fear, anger, hatred and other emotional energies which lingered. Those were hard times. Anyway, the upstairs attic was especially scary. The entire upstairs was one large room, and there were crawl spaces on either side. The room had the pitch of the roof and the crawl spaces were on the sides where the ceiling was low. You could enter the crawl space from one end of the room and exit at the other end. Inside it was dark, but if you had a flashlight you could see the trusses and insulation. We would step from one beam to the next, over the insulation and pass from one end of the room to the other. It was a dark creepy place. To top it off, we turned it into a haunted house once and brought the neighborhood kids though. I had a dream when I was a child that my toy soup can rolled into this crawl space and I went in after it. Inside was a spiraling staircase that went down into the pits of hell and all these people were crying out in pain, and burning. I don’t know where I came up with that, but let’s just say, the crawl space terrified me.
So anyway, I am me in the dream, my age… and I am with my inner child. She doesn’t exactly look like me and her name is Danielle, but I still think this child represents me. She was really excited to see me and she wanted to show me something. She led me upstairs and into the crawl space. In my dream the crawl space is a little bigger than it actually was and there is a light in there. There is also a floor and walls. It’s her bedroom. Her bed is in there and her toys and it’s like her hideout and she loves it. Meanwhile, I was scared upon walking into it and relieved when I saw that there was a light. I’m trying to understand why she is not afraid. I look around and down the room a little ways and it is still a corridor and there is a dark end to this corridor where this is still no floor or drywall. I start to imagine that spiders probably live in there and I’m afraid of it. She is not. She is happy and confident and just fine.
I’m not thrilled about the idea that my inner child lives in a small dark attic space, but I’m thrilled to see that she is not afraid of the things that have frightened me so much. I hope this is may be like a premonition and that I can now cast away my fears also. I’d be so much more free if I were as comfortable and she was without fear.
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