A blast from the past

I'm here looking for support after old feelings and emotions were stired up yesterday. I saw my CPN from 9 years ago at my place of work. Just caught sight of him, he didn't see me but it sent my head spinning and now i'm feeling the way I used to all those years ago when I was self harming. I harmed for 11 yrs from the age of 13 until 2yrs ago. Now I'm scared, those old memories and emotions are back and just as real as ever. All I want to do now is cut again!!!