9 months

I am a little late this month, by 5 days. My sweet angel made 9 months last week, she has been dead longer than she was alive. The pain has changed, its now duller, but always always here. In place of the debilitating pain now sits a dull sadness, sad days and sad nights after sad days and sad nights.
Yesterday I had five friends come over to visit me, to pray with me and one even brought a nice present. I am having alot of love sorrounding me lately, and I am grateful for that. Also, I feel like God is aware of my sorrow, whether that means he will send me some relief, I sincerely hope so, its even alien to me now to imagine a day without sorrow. Lets wait and see what the future holds...though one thing is for certian, Sinza wint be a part of it in this lifetime. I just wish she would hug me even just once!