Wow!

So I'm two and a half months into my journey of sobriety.  I actually had quite the experience when I traveled down to the beach last week by myeslf.  For one I hung out at this bar two different nights and didn't drink at all, actually had to give away free drinks the bartender gave me.  It was this really cute small bar where I chilled, and it was just a small group of people both nights.  It was so great to connect with international travelers, everyone was so kind, open-minded, fun.   The bar was owned by this Thai guy and this Swedish guy.  They were both sexy and cool as fuck.  I'm still thinking about the Swedish guy....he wasn't really my type at first glance, he could be like a model, he was all metro and well groomed in that European way....but he was just so friendly and laid back and kinda goofy and humble in this super endearing way, and he had traveled all over and stayed at monasteries and participated in all these meditation retreats.  And of course all the travelers speak many languages, which is so impressive to me.  I haven't met a guy like that in so long, but I didn't even get his info or anything, I just kinda got up and bounced out that last night.  Right now I feel like I am still on a path to perfect myself before I want to put myself out there and try to get involved with someone. Also, I'm sure he meets beautiful girls from all over the world, all the time.  The first night I think he was actually hooking up with this super friendly, golden goddess of a girl from England.   The next night she had already left.  I'm just using my admiration of him as fuel to my fire to manifest my potential.....although I would love to see him again, and I wish fate would intervene and make it so....  ANYWAY!   YAY!  sheeessshh it was so crazy that I hung out with people I didn't even know, who were ALL drinking, and I didn't drinking.  That is new to me...in the past, i've been around friends who were drinking and I didn't partake, but not usually in a new situation.  I def. use alcohol as a crutch for my awkwardness hahaha.  So happy I stayed sober though.  
Something crazy happened too!!  I was staying in a bungalow about a 10 minute walk away from the main strip of bars and hostels.  Tthere weren't any other guests really occupying the surrounding bungalows.  I hear a knock at my door at like 5:30 in the morning and I groggily wrap a blanket around myself and open the door and this European dude about 25 years old comes rushing past and has what looks like small gardening tools in his hands and he is like "where's your girlfriend?" all frenzied and angry.  I scream and run outside the room just to make sure I'm not stuck in there with him.  He follows me outside and then threatens to kill me and is like "if you make any noise, I will kill you, you understand?  you have two choices, open your mouth or be quiet.  do you understand?"  he said a bunch of other insane shit too.  i'm like "ok" and nod my head, and i'm pretty sure the dude is drunk out of his mind but he isn't slurring his words.  he has liek a dutch or russian accent.  i just handle him the way i do when i have had to deal with crazed abusive boyfriends or power tripping cops.  just don't argue, treat them like rabid animals.   it's not rational.  so anyway i go back to sleep and i'm like "damn!!! i'm so happy i'm not drinking".  i told the owner of my place later on in the morning when they opened up (the owner was this really awesome thai women, i had alerady been hanging out with her the night before) and her brother was there and said that he had heard the commotion and confronted the guy as the dude was leaving and made him put down the tools he had (turns out it was cooking utensils for the big woks they use here!) and told him to get the fuck out and go back to wherever he came from and get some sleep because he was drunk.  HA HA!  I think that incident was just an extra reminder for me that I do not need to put myself in a precarious position being out of my gourd on alcohol.  I'm a special case because at this point I always black out.  I act like someone else.  I go insane.  I spit on people, fight people, fuck old men, fall over, piss on shit.....like the whole nine yards.  I swear I get inhabited by spirits....you know in haitian voodoo and other types of cults where they try to invoke spirits, they use alcohol as an aid.  I seriously sometimes think I get inhabited with mischievous spirits, because I don't think it's my subconcious mind manifesting when I hear the things I do.  
anyway, i also am really happy because my friend's clothing business kind of hired me to maintain their instagram account!  i will be reviewed in a couple weeks to see if they like what i am doing and if i am procuring results.  i hope i do well!  but this is awesome for me, since i am trying to become a digital nomad.  i have been doing a lot of research and trying to figure out what path i want to take.  conducted two interviews this past week too that i'm excited about!  actually going to meet up with some girls here that are digital nomads....they are like vloggers/bloggers who have cultivated their personalities to be brands.  i'm kind of intimidated and am afraid they might be too straight laced for my tastes, but my best friend who is here is organized this get together that actually starts in an hour and a half.  better do my yoga and then get myself ready!!!