finally
i tihnk i have finally, FINALLY gotten to the point where when I think of drinking I fully accept that if I have a drink something terrible could happen. and to be that inevitably out of control here in a foreign country....it's literally too scary. i don't need that stress of dealing with a fuckup i could commit out here, i'm lucky i got away with what i did so far cause i got really fucked up here a few times! details are scary. trying to be postive but exorcise this at the same time..... It is like russian roulette with me. i black out so much and always always always need more. and i know that now. probability is real.
i can't spend my money so foolishly anymore i'm getting older and it sucks being broke and i known i can be financial stable while living life on my terms. i don't need a lot of money but when i work hard....that money shouldn't be spent so stupidly and destructively. like wtf? i'm stupid. no more of being irresponsible in that way. i want to travel and shit!
sheeeshhhh miss other stuff though, the stuff that fuels your imagination and makes you feel good with no catch. it's nice that mary jane is back in town though, i can't feel too lonely really.
i can't spend my money so foolishly anymore i'm getting older and it sucks being broke and i known i can be financial stable while living life on my terms. i don't need a lot of money but when i work hard....that money shouldn't be spent so stupidly and destructively. like wtf? i'm stupid. no more of being irresponsible in that way. i want to travel and shit!
sheeeshhhh miss other stuff though, the stuff that fuels your imagination and makes you feel good with no catch. it's nice that mary jane is back in town though, i can't feel too lonely really.
Replies
I use to do alot of traveling like you but most of the time, I stayed within the USA. A large part of the reason why I traveled so much is because I was continually searching for something missing deep inside, Love and Happiness. I used drugs and alcohol as a relacement for that love but it nearly killed me. It was many years before I learned that I already had it in my mind but I didn\'t know how to get rid of the blocks that prevented me from feeling, what I spent a lifetime searching for. I know now. It started with the 12 steps of AA.....now I never need to worry. I always have that Peace and Happiness right with me. God Bless!
I travel the world because I love learning. I am insatiably curious and get bored if I stay in one place. I meet and connect with so many diverse people in my travels; it is simply easier for me to live like this then to be doing anything else. I am bored with America, I want to be a world traveler and alcohol is just going to hold me back.
Things to avoid: My friend spend some time in a Turkish prison due to his drinking. Once I almost ended up in a Mongolian jail. Life is so good without the booze.
I am going on a spiritual journey to Tibet, Nepal and Bhutan in September. After that I will go visit family in Vietnam. My son is a Lt Col in the police force there, but i don\'t don\'t drink anymore, although the granddaughter told me that he has a problem with the booze.
Be careful out there, for sure! Hugs