I feel really bad about some things that happened today. I don't know why I can't realize that I need church,there's no excuse for not going. I guess maybe I didn't go today because I went to a "holy roller" church last week and got trapped,because I saw an old friend and she wanted me to sit with her towards the front. Wouldn't you know, I had to go to the bathroom very badly,but I was afraid to get up in front of everybody.The preacher went on and on and on. Finally,during the closing prayer,I slipped out,used the restroom,and prepared to leave,just in time to hear a woman giving a loud message in tongues. The truth is, I thought as I walked to my car, I don't know how I feel about glossolalia anymore. I know the Bible says not to forbid anyone to speak in tongues,but I don't know why this woman couldn't have just delivered her message in English. The last church I belonged to,they had tongues-speaking without interpretation. It actually was the pastor's wife who did it. I really wanted to have a conversation with her about it,but never got up enough nerve. Another time a woman tried to make me fall down in front of the altar. I have to be honest here and say that I really don't know what I expect from church. I think the only reason to go is to worship God,but personalities always get in the way,or so it seems.And I'm only 52 but it seems like I've heard the same sermon over and over again. Not that I'd even know what they said,because if I have to sit still for five minutes,my mind starts to wander.
As you can tell,I'm in a sweet mood today. But this is the only place where I can be myself and stop worrying about what "they" think.