Tonight I'm feeling bad because I shared with some of the female residents about Shirl,as I always say "I love her to pieces but she drives me crazy";but one of the ladies,whom I'll call Veronica,shared something that made her very sad,in an effort to help me.Now I want to do things for her but I'm afraid she'll think I'm just doing them out of pity,when in truth,when I do things for people I do them because I love to see their reaction to my gift and I thoroughly enjoy bringing pleasure to others.Tonight I prayed that Veronica ("Ronnie") will be able to enjoy my gifts and know they're not because I feel sorry for her.On the contrary,I admire her for her courage and ability to share what she had to say.And I have to say I don't have that problem,the worst thing that ever happened to me was my Mom's death when I was 10,and when I tell about that I always stress the love she and I had between us and how grateful I am to God for letting me have her in my life for the length of time that He did.I miss her every day and I haven't forgotten a single thing about her even though it's been over 40 years since she left us to go to an infinitely better life.It sounds silly but the thing I remember most is her sweet,clean scent. She always used scented talcum powder after a bath.
I don't want to go over what happened with Shirl again,since the ladies and I already "covered" it. Suffice it to say that I walked into a tense atmosphere between her and her husband,whom I do not like (and I feel guilty about that because dislike is just another word for hate,and Jesus said if we hate anyone we are a murderer in our hearts).So here,I ask Him to forgive me and help me treat Joe (not his real name) like He would treat him.
I had some coffee earlier because it's cold in the house,the weather turned chilly and the heat is not on yet.Two cups of hot coffee helped some,but I can still feel the chill,and it's after midnight and I'm still awake.I'm tired,but not tired enough to sleep because I'm still thinking about Shirl and Ronnie. I've been reading some Joyce Meyer books,and they are all very meaty,too meaty for me to try to ingest when I'm tired (and cold).
I have trouble giving things over to God and letting Him handle them. When I sense that someone is unhappy (like Shirl,though of course she'd never admit it),I feel frustrated because usually I can't help them. But I remind myself here that He can.
I don't want to go over what happened with Shirl again,since the ladies and I already "covered" it. Suffice it to say that I walked into a tense atmosphere between her and her husband,whom I do not like (and I feel guilty about that because dislike is just another word for hate,and Jesus said if we hate anyone we are a murderer in our hearts).So here,I ask Him to forgive me and help me treat Joe (not his real name) like He would treat him.
I had some coffee earlier because it's cold in the house,the weather turned chilly and the heat is not on yet.Two cups of hot coffee helped some,but I can still feel the chill,and it's after midnight and I'm still awake.I'm tired,but not tired enough to sleep because I'm still thinking about Shirl and Ronnie. I've been reading some Joyce Meyer books,and they are all very meaty,too meaty for me to try to ingest when I'm tired (and cold).
I have trouble giving things over to God and letting Him handle them. When I sense that someone is unhappy (like Shirl,though of course she'd never admit it),I feel frustrated because usually I can't help them. But I remind myself here that He can.
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