Haven't written in here for a little while. Still waiting for Pastor Friend and I to get together. We were away from last Wednesday until yesterday so we really haven't had the opportunity to make the arrangements. I will share with you when we get into things that may help you as well as me.
For some time now, we have been thinking that GF stole my good jewelry. The last couple of summers that we went away, I would come home to find my good jewelry gone. (DH replaced some of it and some of it was insured) Guess we didn't want to look at the issue logically. The only person who could get into the house was ES. That is a fact that is difficult to face but true. We really think he has been planning all of this estrangement for about 2 years. We haven't been invited to anything at the kids' schools for 2 years - not even grandparents day although GF mother has gone to everything. So, actually we have been estranged for much longer than it seems. When you realize that a child you have done everything possible to help, can actually steal from you and have all of this planned, it hurts even more. So, as I adjust to these new revelations, this is the truth. This is so much worse than I thought. There are so many things he is done that I truly don't know him. Guess I don't have to worry about that since I really don't think we will see him or the kids again. He simply should be ashamed of all he has done to hurt us. However, being a narcissist, it will never matter to him. Needed to get that out so there it is. Even worse.
For some time now, we have been thinking that GF stole my good jewelry. The last couple of summers that we went away, I would come home to find my good jewelry gone. (DH replaced some of it and some of it was insured) Guess we didn't want to look at the issue logically. The only person who could get into the house was ES. That is a fact that is difficult to face but true. We really think he has been planning all of this estrangement for about 2 years. We haven't been invited to anything at the kids' schools for 2 years - not even grandparents day although GF mother has gone to everything. So, actually we have been estranged for much longer than it seems. When you realize that a child you have done everything possible to help, can actually steal from you and have all of this planned, it hurts even more. So, as I adjust to these new revelations, this is the truth. This is so much worse than I thought. There are so many things he is done that I truly don't know him. Guess I don't have to worry about that since I really don't think we will see him or the kids again. He simply should be ashamed of all he has done to hurt us. However, being a narcissist, it will never matter to him. Needed to get that out so there it is. Even worse.
Replies
Terrible discovery. I\'m praying for you.
My advice is change your locks. That\'s what we did when our ES married DIL and they became so mean to us. Why do you let him have a key? I wouldn\'t even give me a detailed reason for the change and if he asks, just say the locks needed to be updated.
This was 2 summers and last summer. As soon as we found the 2nd theft, we changed every lock and put double locks on some doors. At that point we thought it was GF but wasn\'t giving anyone a key - no one.
when good people get hurt, it takes a bit of time before they realize what\'s happened. It\'s the same for estrangement, when we think it just happened and it\'s really been going on for years in dribs an drabs and just didn\'t notice or put the pieces together. If nothing else, when these things happen, you can make a plan so it won\'t happen again, and God forbid that it would be even worse. That GF is sure bad news... she needs some serious prayers and counselling. xo
I remember how devastated I too felt when I discovered that my son had stolen from me and his siblings - it was to pay for drugs. He was in his teens and I was living alone then and counting pennies. We were battling SO much and it was unbelievable that he could steal from us all. But today he is a wonderful guy, an awesome father and husband, very good to me (he is not one of the estranged ones) and works tirelessly for his community doing good and fighting crime, drugs, etc. So there is hope and we must continue to pray for one another\'s children. Just to encourage you xxx (((hugs)))
So sorry to hear that. I moved and ED does not feel comfortable up here in the hills. She is also afraid of my fiance and knows he has many guns ..for work. She won\'t come here. Definitely change the locks. Addiction has no bounds, they will do anything. Any reformed addict will tell you. I agree though if there is a conscience left and they clean up, they can truly turn it around. They Have to want it and be willing to do the work and it is a lot of work. I went through this with my sis and speed, it was horrible. She recovered after ten years. The drugs were more important than anything and more powerful. She was a different person. Prayers to you and protect yourself.