depression ......
oddly i dont seem to have any
not for a long time
the state seems quite odd to me
maybe like when outsiders looked at me
 
i have worries yes
.i have anxiety yes
but not the depression
justifing myself in relationships isnt a need anymore
i tend to think it is what it is right now
and that is all it needs to be
in general i care a lot less
there has been quite a few deaths around me and people have left
so i think im back at a basic level of function
life is just like passing time waitng for a trainto arrive
your sat in the waiting room and worry about what people think about you .then after hours and hours you really dont care what anyone thinks 
your just waiting for that stupid train
 
 
tonight was the worst pain ive had in a long time
my spine is acting up
thats bad news