JournalReader 10/06/2011
Would you call it numb?

I get numb. It\'s kind of nice to not feel sometimes. Would you agree?

Gosh, I missed your journal. It\'s so
refreshing to read deep thoughts like this.
And they are DEEP.

Do you often get up early? I do. It\'s supposed to be
the most creative time.

I would love to know how you feel you have changed.
I feel that way too. Very much. And like you,
I also don\'t feel like it\'s better.
It feels very cold. Is it loneliness? I can\'t seem to
put a label on mine.

alantm 10/09/2011
hi :)
no im not numb
..its more blank like looking at a film ive seen to many times.
i dont get up early ,i end up going to bed when people are waking up.

.its like the feeling of walking round a store when no one is in
its more calm.

but quiet and a bit lonley ,like that film \'i am legiond\'
cant spell it .empty city

relationships i cant fall into
its like some thing i have to force
pretend even ...act a part and hope one day the part sticks

maybe im not normal
i bury myself in projects that eat my time and i have no idea
why im doing them

JournalReader 10/13/2011
I have on idea what normal is.

I do the same thing with projects.
Could that be because we are artists?

I have not seen that film. I hope my
questions don\'t make you feel more alone.
I want to understand.

perhaps the relationship that you feel comfortable in
hasn\'t arrived yet.

JournalReader 10/16/2011
I knew you were a musician.

Makes sense you go to bed when others wake up.

I think you just summed up what you
desire in a relationship. It\'s not the
pretty princess, like you were
led to believe.

You seek comfort and ease.

I feel like this statement is very
telling:

\"relationships i cant fall into
its like some thing i have to force
pretend even ...act a part and hope one day the part sticks \"

that does not sound nice.
It sounds awful. Icky. Tiring. Exhausting.
and mostly, fake!

But you are not fake.