back on line
i should be asleap
but feel too
something >????????????????
anxious
i sold something on ebay
after a few hours
a guy  sent an email asking to buy it direct
i had no offers
and the price paid for what i had spent on the thing
so i said yes
then i noticed 11 people were looking at the thing
and i could have sold it for £20 more at least
but really all i wanted was what id spent on it
i spent £112 + £30  £142 so really i made my money back
and feeling crap over a possible £20 isnt worth it
id pay £20 not to feel awful
the things going to a collector
thats why i said yes 
anyway
the reason i feel crap is not that anyway
thats just a side point
 
i feel like i dont want today to end
or move in to the rest of my life
im not ready
.i want to be loved
and im not
im leaving today un loved
,im unloved
and all i have when i sleap is dreams
of work or upsetting stuff
i work up and i have more stressful work
.im not happy