still anxiety
i tryed to shake it off
by doing actions
i thought if i do everything that there is to do i will feel free
so i did
i did all of them that i could ...the worste ones
but each one didnt leave me any better
i still have the feeling that something is wrong
------
also now decided not to buy the car
i had a car in mind as a target
.i saw it on ebay
and it became a target get the money
buy that car
but the milage is way to high
so i have had to scrap the idea
..i still need a car
------------------
in work emails i let a few i's in lines go
because it looks to freaky and i dont want people noticing
it
..i notice them and i feel worried when they show up
but i guess its ok
here i can avoid all i like ...
----
spent 2 days working on an idea
that does not work ...so wasted time
shame ...i loose a lot of time like that on things people never see.
------------
a few back ground axietys about things i make and sell
but i can ride it out i think.
------
sat here looking at my room carpet
i remember almost 2 years ago crying
..i cryed for more than a week
every night id cry for hours
and some how i still thought i was ok
looking back i really was not ok
i tryed to shake it off
by doing actions
i thought if i do everything that there is to do i will feel free
so i did
i did all of them that i could ...the worste ones
but each one didnt leave me any better
i still have the feeling that something is wrong
------
also now decided not to buy the car
i had a car in mind as a target
.i saw it on ebay
and it became a target get the money
buy that car
but the milage is way to high
so i have had to scrap the idea
..i still need a car
------------------
in work emails i let a few i's in lines go
because it looks to freaky and i dont want people noticing
it
..i notice them and i feel worried when they show up
but i guess its ok
here i can avoid all i like ...
----
spent 2 days working on an idea
that does not work ...so wasted time
shame ...i loose a lot of time like that on things people never see.
------------
a few back ground axietys about things i make and sell
but i can ride it out i think.
------
sat here looking at my room carpet
i remember almost 2 years ago crying
..i cryed for more than a week
every night id cry for hours
and some how i still thought i was ok
looking back i really was not ok
Replies
I have this feeling that the I thing may go away
as soon as you figure out where it\'s from.
I like that you are practicing compassion for yourself.
Remembering how far down you were helps, for
some reason.
I think it\'s to help feel like you\'ve made progress
I do that too. Spend time on ideas nobody will see.
So many projects on the go. Perhaps we could help each other
with some focus?
anxiety is so incredibly common.
I just read an article predicting future human
behavior
he said that feeling of being tied up on a leash
like a dog waiting for it\'s owner to come back?
get used to it. it\'s here to stay.