15th
today i was ment to fly to america
to meet a new love and start a new life
...
but that was weeks ago
what new life
i dont even feel i have an old life
.so im in a strange nothing that is a fog
i dont feel like cutting
my mind is part of my body for now
and the whole thing seems distant from the world ..
i think in some levels i am in crissis
.im focusing on work again
...
the only form of attention im getting is of
a sexual game like situation
but id swap that in the blink of an eye to be loved
right now its all i have
and its linked my out side  shell to my inside thoughts
so in some extream way its therapy
But i do feel lonly and not understood