ok for now
maybe this is the most accepting of my self that i have been for years
i do still feel rejection that im not loved even though im quite a nice person
so that meens my outside self is hated
i think all the positive stuff is because of the attention ive been given
.its all physical so not sure about that
but it is at least some thing possitive
if i were a girl people would maybe see it as the girl who just
ends up getting f cked lots because she feels wanted
but its really a tragic story
..no idea whats going on
its making me face my physical side
so i feel less blocked
would like to be loved but thats far to dangerous
people lie to much
this physical thing at least is honest
and i can understand that
best not think about love
seems a stupid idea