ok
this is personal page
so here comes the personal stuff
my usa girl ...i have blocked all comunication with
she ran off with a pop star she is even in the UK as i type
this ....she is VERY shallow
but just so glad i didnt spend £610 on that ticket
and be a real idiot.
i knew something wasnt right .
OK
----
thats past
been seeing the woman from the quiz night
the hyper one...we get on well because we have the same out look right now
and personalitys that fit ....at least on a casual basis
been on to steamy dates ....really crazy streamy
ive never been with a woman as sexualy driven as she is
never had to keep up that much !
im totally worn out due to staying up all night till dawn
But
the odd thing is im coping very well with this type of situation
i can hadel this ...where as the deep emotional confuision
of the other dates was making me ill
this i know what shes thinking
and i can see how its acting out
also its to do with her wanting me as the outside shell
as well ....the physical atraction she has to me has conected
my out side as part of who i am
..nice to have someone want me ..for my outside as well
i always tryed to prove my inside
so people would accept my outside
and this is not like that :)
down side i am physicaly worn out
but plus side is this sex life has thrown me in to a body work out
in all the ways the doctors said i should be moving !
thats quite funny
---
all this came about because i told myself to
not be as slow as i normaly am
be un charictoristicly faster and forward
where all this is going or how long this situation will last
i have no idea
she does not need ties
but for now we dont care
its nice just to be on the same wave lenght
with a person and not have a constant wav of someone saying
whats wrong with me .
she thinks im very impressive :P
so...that has given me quite a boost to my confidence
i feel more man ly
and all the world being male female seems to have
a more basic clear reason now ..
odd week
this is personal page
so here comes the personal stuff
my usa girl ...i have blocked all comunication with
she ran off with a pop star she is even in the UK as i type
this ....she is VERY shallow
but just so glad i didnt spend £610 on that ticket
and be a real idiot.
i knew something wasnt right .
OK
----
thats past
been seeing the woman from the quiz night
the hyper one...we get on well because we have the same out look right now
and personalitys that fit ....at least on a casual basis
been on to steamy dates ....really crazy streamy
ive never been with a woman as sexualy driven as she is
never had to keep up that much !
im totally worn out due to staying up all night till dawn
But
the odd thing is im coping very well with this type of situation
i can hadel this ...where as the deep emotional confuision
of the other dates was making me ill
this i know what shes thinking
and i can see how its acting out
also its to do with her wanting me as the outside shell
as well ....the physical atraction she has to me has conected
my out side as part of who i am
..nice to have someone want me ..for my outside as well
i always tryed to prove my inside
so people would accept my outside
and this is not like that :)
down side i am physicaly worn out
but plus side is this sex life has thrown me in to a body work out
in all the ways the doctors said i should be moving !
thats quite funny
---
all this came about because i told myself to
not be as slow as i normaly am
be un charictoristicly faster and forward
where all this is going or how long this situation will last
i have no idea
she does not need ties
but for now we dont care
its nice just to be on the same wave lenght
with a person and not have a constant wav of someone saying
whats wrong with me .
she thinks im very impressive :P
so...that has given me quite a boost to my confidence
i feel more man ly
and all the world being male female seems to have
a more basic clear reason now ..
odd week
Replies
You definitely know something wasn\'t right.
I felt like you were almost protecting her.
BUT YOU LISTENED TO YOUR INSTINCTS
AND IT PAID OFF!!!!!
I\'m glad things are going well for you.
Enjoy it. And if you ever feel scared about it, tell
yourself that it will end one day (not the
relationship, but the feelings).
Telling myself that good times will end
helps me give myself permission to enjoy it
and not worry about going back to the
way things were.
This is part of life, too. Feeling good.
Feeling wanted and needed and
having purpose. It is part of life.
ENJOY IT!!!
im trying to enjoy it
.i am having some fun
she is totally hyper like adhd and has had a hell of a lot of OCD
things.
so i dont really view her as odd as some other people may see her.
so far its fun stuff and a lot og her talking about her ex she lived with for 17 years...so shes getting a lot of talk therapy with me ..so i let her ..its good to balance this stuff off another person.
she used to type in huge blocks but i said i cant cope with them
and she types in sections now ...that was a nice thing .
yes the whole thing is great escapisum
we can act out sides we would not normaly do
today was the first morning i woke with a bit of worry about myslef
thinking where will i get my close and loved feeling from .
the times we are out are quite odd
its like lets go out as a couple but should we really be doing things couples do??? ...are we even a couple?
its a couple with out the questions
things will slow down after this week her kid comes back from a trip
...see all that side is like a hidden thing and her ex ..
also she doesnt really know me
she hasnt even asked where i live
its a mix of very close and totaly distant
yes the usa girl acted as if i were crazy
but i could tell something was wrong ..that was very upsetting
because i had emotionaly put so much in to it .
its confusing now because the emotional content is small
yes i think she is sexy and funny and she likes me
but im not destroying my self ...so its confusing
don\'t destroy yourself! I think your awareness
is quite remarkable.
Sometimes people are looking for someone to
save them.
Your awareness probably lets you know that you
cannot save this USA girl.
usa girl sent me a text to say she has erased all my texts RIP...
then talked about that guy how he is nuts ...then went on about a guy on the plane home ...
it was a way to get at me ,,,but i just let it go