feeling lost
today was another wipe out
i didnt live i just past time
dont really want to go to sleap
because my life is timeless now
yes im wearing out
i feel like ive seen a boat sail off
or the time i saw that ambulace drive off
i feel left be hind
or even when i saw my dad dump me and drive off
or even the other kids in my first school all run off to gether
without me because i wasnt like them
its abandonment
but being by myself is my home
and thats quite hard to
deal with  



abandonment is a very common fear.

unfortunately it\'s come real for you.
as a child, yet. the worst time in a person\'s life
for it to happen. kids don\'t have choices.

children don\'t have the brain power to rationalize it.

so, now you are no longer a child and yet you are
left with this fear. it seems to keep happening, too.
even when it isn\'t happening, you perceive it as

i think this is to cope with feeling powerless.
if you can take blame and responsiblity for it, then you can
rationalize it and feel like you have some control.

i honestly think you should give yourself nine zillion
pats on the back for coping with all that you have.
it\'s a lot for one person to deal with.

it\'s like you were
brainwashed and now you have to figure out how to
undo it all by yourself.

i hope you can meet kinder people in the future.

you always say such nice things