the younger girl says nice things about me
and has emailed me a lot over 2 days
she said i look nice
but i always say she is wrong
she sent me her phone number
she is 26
my ex turkish girl was about that
she was even in the same drama classes
i feel she is expecting me to react faster ?
but i just move slow
she isnt the sort id normaly go for
and i always saw her as cold
so i dont know if im just a rebound sort of thing after losing her ex
ive made no moves
im awaer of the traps
f cking i's all over
i dont care
i have enough problems with out letters



slow is good. especially for you.
you need to build trust.

trust takes time.

today she sent texts that were her really backing off
so im left confused
i didnt react maybe its that but also she ran off
there are many issues
and i cant think about it all
its to confusing for me

this is a huge red flag for me.

you feel unsettled and unsafe.
she is giving mixed messages.

i read your journal backwards.
so now everything i read makes sense.

It\'s HER that is giving mixed messages.

you have a big wound in your heart.

it\'s not healed enough for this.
it\'s like she is stabbing you in the heart, exactly
where you are hurt and she doesn\'t even know it.

this heartbreak is from turkish girl?
heartbreak does kill people, you know.
it has to be treated. you can\'t just
pretend it\'s not there. AND it doesn\'t mean you are
weak or not worthy if you have it. It just means
you love deeply. and strongly.

too much going on for you right now.
work stuff. this dating stuff. it\'s a lot of stress
for you. you need some things to do that are not
sooooo stressful.

what do you enjoy? bike riding?


loves stand like this
turkish girl GONE long gone years ...i thought she was buetiful
but i was just filling she is gone and no need for me
church girl is gone but gone in a complex way
she made a massive wall that has angered me in ways
but that door is slamed shut NO RETURN

i did have a short date girl
but we are so un like that i dont even think on it
louise sax girl from way way back
loved her but that is a world away and gone gone gone

This new girl tonight sent me a text that said she really likes me ect
as a date type thing
even if i dont like her
also she is an old friends daughter
so the whole thing feels odd
plus she only broke up 2 months ago
so its a lot like a bounce back
i am her type
and every one says im a nice person even though i cant see that
so maybe she likes me

maybe id would go with this for a while if i didnt know her dad
again its way way to complex

i have a lot of work to do
and im working the weekend
and all these issues

i was thinking to night
its not quite stress

or anxiety
or depression or anything
its just a lot of something

a lot of emotion.

a lot of confusion.

i can relate.

my therapist said it\'s like i\'m holding a damn
with my finger. she was right.

my therapist said it\'s like i\'m holding a damn
with my finger. she was right.

-- but is like the finger is numb !!
im holding stuff back that i dont really feel

yes. okay, this is emotional numbness.

it\'s not uncommon. you don\'t know what the damn
is holding back?

it\'s just water. it comes out the eyes. in floods. omg. floods.

i dont have a therapits
or anything like that
i think they would be quite crule
,i fight my self soo much
so many wars and painsand confuison goes on
in my head

ect ect ect ...............................