so i left
and drove to the next town 30 miles
spent a while there
and drove to a shopping center 15 miles from there
its a place i used to go to
lots of past thoughts there
with ex's
also young couples there on dates
i felt time had passed
and even when i was that age my life was hell
people were there looking great ,happy
expesive cars
and im a massive fuck up
i hate my reflection
i saw it in the shop windows
like the ugly duckling in the water
ive been told how bad i look and see myself and think yes you do look awfull
this is why no one loves you
you look shit on legs
and drove to the next town 30 miles
spent a while there
and drove to a shopping center 15 miles from there
its a place i used to go to
lots of past thoughts there
with ex's
also young couples there on dates
i felt time had passed
and even when i was that age my life was hell
people were there looking great ,happy
expesive cars
and im a massive fuck up
i hate my reflection
i saw it in the shop windows
like the ugly duckling in the water
ive been told how bad i look and see myself and think yes you do look awfull
this is why no one loves you
you look shit on legs
Replies
\"its a place i used to go to
lots of past thoughts there
with ex\'s\"
maybe that is why you felt like shit on legs?
you are NOT a massive fuck up.
you\'ve survived a traumatic childhood
and you cope VERY well with
morbid depression.
that is not a fuck up.
not even close to it.
i\'m thinking the memories were tugging at you.
The memories from the shopping centre.
and it got overwhelming.
and the brain wanted control, so it took control
and warped those feelings so that you could try and make
sense of them.
it flipped them around on you. does this make sense?
instead of feeling the sadness and longing
and grief, you felt self-hatred.
its this new person
her its digging up stuff
and also the singer saying so many things about me
so many bad points about me
even though i dont know what im feeling i know its linked to this stuff
i agree. it\'s linked.