very hard night
i layed in
wished i could just stay there
thought about sending an e mail to the samaritens last night
but its days for an answer and its so robotic that i cant face that
did another show tonight
i got through it
because yesterday was so so bad
and i was  so crippled
im not sure on mental state verses physical
.im shure most is physical
the things i do are impossible
and my body does hurt from it
for some reason things are very very hard
ive even thought ME or cfs
.i really dont look that un fit