isolation with in myself from the world is killing me
the link to the outside seems impossible
it alwasys has been
.i really hate this
living is so pianfull for me



isolation is a way to protect yourself.

you need that right now - because you are feeling so low.

i find living painful too.

do you ever get scared that if you
let out the pain. like just
give yourself permission to FEEL all the bad,
that you will snap and not come back?

i get that way sometimes. like I don\'t
trust myself to allow the feelings to flow.

but when I do, it\'s kind of nice to just cry and release
some of it.

I almost have to give myself a pep
talk and say \"it\'s okay. you can cry. you can be angry.
you can yell and get snotty and feel all that pain.\"

but i also understand when you feel so bad
that allowing that to flow is dangerous.
especially if suicide is circling in the brain.

it\'s a fine balance