bad dreams last night
dreamt i was at some kind of therapy group but
i spent all of my time in a corner or hidding be hind furniture ect
rocking myself and upset
and i would not come out to join in
i felt that i was in a place that was ment to be to help me but i could not even deal with that
just now that situation remindsme of that church night where
the guy was asking for people to be heald
i knew it was all crazy but i felt
so hurt by not going forward
uin the end i did i was so driven to feel better in anyway i could
but when i got there
it was nothing
just a lot of lost words
every thing falls short of me



i like how you describe these feelings. I learn from it.

I have felt that way.

I think it\'s that pattern of always being let down.
You want to connect, but getting let down hurts
too much.

So then you feel like you are the problem.

That night you went to the church resulted
in a relationship, didn\'t it?

I know that relationship isn\'t working out but
it did take an incredible amount of courage
to just reach out as you did.

I think it may have fell short because it wasn\'t what you needed
after all. And that feeling of being let down was triggered.