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today wnet to a reiki session
it was booked for me by my friend =singer girl
mostly to see if it had any effect on me like her
its like a relaxation thing
but it didnt really do that to me
it just made me awear how tense i am all the time
how much my body aches .
i tryed to accept how things are
tryed to relax
and i could here my inside voice  saying
you must stop fighting everything
im sick of fighting
-
im awear of my age
getting older
and how my body is to
i really feel like the summer of my life is going
and the pressuers of her wanting kids? of all things
makes being with a woman something totally diffrent
from life partner i want
-
God ect
im sort of spiritual
but i cant beleive like she does about this
father figuer who is time less that we all must love to go to heaven because we are all so bad.
-
came out of this session with a feeling like the self hyphnossis tapes i had
going there was as freaky as the strange church night
all this says to me something else about my life
that i am even doing these things
--
charlotte seems totally hooked on me
i feel a bit bad about that because i
 dont want her hurt if we have to split
--
spent most of today laying on my bed
worn out by it all
im emotionaly exhughsted
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I tried reiki. I really liked it. I had the same thing as you -
realized how tense I am ALL THE TIME.
Yoga helps with that. You can even learn to use it to make yourself
stronger and healthier, I think.

You would be tired after reiki. For sure.
Might be tired for a few days.

If that belief in a God is at the root of all
her functioning, it\'s a big deal.

You seem to be learning a lot about
yourself these days. Cool.