today wnet to a reiki session
it was booked for me by my friend =singer girl
mostly to see if it had any effect on me like her
its like a relaxation thing
but it didnt really do that to me
it just made me awear how tense i am all the time
how much my body aches .
i tryed to accept how things are
tryed to relax
and i could here my inside voice  saying
you must stop fighting everything
im sick of fighting
im awear of my age
getting older
and how my body is to
i really feel like the summer of my life is going
and the pressuers of her wanting kids? of all things
makes being with a woman something totally diffrent
from life partner i want
God ect
im sort of spiritual
but i cant beleive like she does about this
father figuer who is time less that we all must love to go to heaven because we are all so bad.
came out of this session with a feeling like the self hyphnossis tapes i had
going there was as freaky as the strange church night
all this says to me something else about my life
that i am even doing these things
charlotte seems totally hooked on me
i feel a bit bad about that because i
 dont want her hurt if we have to split
spent most of today laying on my bed
worn out by it all
im emotionaly exhughsted



I tried reiki. I really liked it. I had the same thing as you -
realized how tense I am ALL THE TIME.
Yoga helps with that. You can even learn to use it to make yourself
stronger and healthier, I think.

You would be tired after reiki. For sure.
Might be tired for a few days.

If that belief in a God is at the root of all
her functioning, it\'s a big deal.

You seem to be learning a lot about
yourself these days. Cool.