today i left the house telling no one just to get away and by the evening i was 100 miles away at a very small church in the middle of nowhere for 3 hours a place id never been before i got asked why and how i had come i said i didnt set off to come here .i just got here by a random chain of events  it was quiet emotionaly hard .ive been very defencive a man and woman were going round the people hugging them and blessing them  it was noticed i was holding my coat very nervous on the point of running out the door  at a few points i would have left if it wasnt so obivus  this hasnt made things any more simple it shows my distance  .ive pushed mysel in more harms way tomorrow i said id meet that woman that desicion is as crazy as todays this could be far more damaging if i cant copebut i have to find out who i am