not been here for a while ive tred to shut myself down.im in contact with how i feel to much and its gets so scaryand poeple cant cope with me  not sleaping well at all i am feeling a bit ill from it to few hours but i cant sleapits like being on a train or ship its like im in a strange place but im not    on top of this ive had the past coming back again still dealling with rejectionalso seperationand direction i have so many fears sometimes i think ill freez and cryat times i think yes i am ill last night i thought shall i do a cutting thing and i may sleapbut thats just replacing complex with complexi felt bad abut that idear coming back.its like god here we go again after how long      more pressures in the house againto much to explain