i woke bad and it didnt get a lot better worse in some ways  i left the house and stayed out all day i didnt tell anyone i was going dealing with the world is quite hard its all turning back in to this cardboard world thing again i really cant adapt to it  .i have started to wounder looking at the world as if its all cardboard or fakeis it really me thats the sceanary .im just part of the set reallyim of no matterjust back ground noise to other peoples lifes im trying to work out my value as a person if i look for it outside i am worth nothing . inside i feel like driffting in space or something where is my value if al around is nothing: its like deep in space how can you decide how far from home you are  if you cant even see anything its like that.its like being in the dark  in space and people telling you what is around you  that you cant see they say trust us its there but really you feel its notthe way people say life is is not whats here so how long do you try to lie to your self when your self is saying what you seei see dark space  and sceanary  god i know im right  even on a huge scale take you self off this planet into space and look downits just blackness and tiny people sournded by things as a back ground  they live and die they live there life in a set surrounded by black nothing nessmaybe im seeing it alllike ive fallen of the set and i can see the strings that hold the puppets