today was one long dragi didnt want to get up. got through todaybut it was a fight i lost £10 today somewhere .i remember rollinging it up in my hands but my memory is so bad these daysi blank a lot .i find my self trying to talk about things but people dont understand dont listen and cant help anywaylife is getting very hard to deal withits so dead .i think its worse since i didnt reply to the calls i got it realy has marked and enedshe didnt even call to say whats wrong other romantic directions i have looked to are dead ends  i feel so un loved