abuse group i joind because i got some spam saying that someone loved me  the thought came to me vunaerable  and how bad this would have hit me before how vunerble i was  this stuff should not be on this site  i went to the abuse forum because thats where .i felt this is where i came fromwhile there i saw posts from people i felt this never ends more and more posts of the same stuff it will never end  .i feel i have ended it but i do feel for these posts it hurts me still.i know what all that is im not there any more and in some ways seeing that stuff trys to drag me back but i am past that  i just wish these people were nicer to themselfs for what others have done its like someone breaking your window with a crow bar and then you feeling awfull for what they have done   guilt is all so wrong  maybe if i didnt ,,,,you cant say that 10 years later  its like saying maybe if it didnt rain last week .i cant change thatthe self hate form was i a bad personwas i wrong ?it was all wrong i am wrong  .is so personalised if i was a static item that this was done to .i am used i have choice so is it my fault  but what if you come to a fork in the road that you have never been down?and a person there says ill take you to the town you need to go tothen they take you away somewhere else ?is that your fault ? no they took you in a direction you were not looking for and a place they should have never taken you  i cant stay in that group .is walking in the past to much