things are un clear im at an age where things should be stetled but they are notim in a jobbut its not paying i have some savings not alot and right now i am spending a lot of it towards a new job that im not even sure i want  but i have little choice i hoped for a life in a forien place by now a new startbut i have less than before  im spending but have little income that makes me feel unsafe  im going in reverse but i dont have a direction  for now im just going forward i think but i have no idea in to what dreaming about the past quite a lot i think im looking for  something i know