i's when i came here i was not wellnot well at all  i came here as a site i found to grasp at while i felt i may kill myself  i needed help..i typed  in self help groupand found this back then it was dealing with abusive pasts againbrought up by situations where i felt used and abndoned again i talked about that and when i told the things that hurt me most no one cared even here that had 2 effects feeling that none really cares about me at all and 2nd if this is the reality.i have to survive because no one cares anyway i have put past abuse behind mehowi cant give an answer just there is a point where you give it away like the times you realise a relationship is deadits like that  .it becomes clear the only thing left from it its the i's i can say yes its easy to stop.ive said many times i will and still i do it i say ill do it soonectmaybe no its because i am afraidi will be like i was at first it was i statement s now its any i's and that makes no sence the i's were a letter that points at me accusing me so how can other words do that because thay have i  accusing me of what it just feels like a finger pointing at meguilt i guessat feeling i tend to see myself out side myself like a program running on a machine to say I feels like i am the machine