went to the apointmenti went early and as i sat there i went though what i was going to say ..i thought i so much to say i have 9 months of things to say  .it all started to become from an emotional point i thought ive waited months to get to this event did my best then not to get upset .i went over it so much in my head that by the time i got ini felt like i had said it all the assesment lasted an hourthe very first question he asked is have you had a scan !!!!!god as if and while i talked he just wrote and listend asked a few questions  i felt in relife  .. like someone finaly beleves me .to have some one accpet that i have hurt and not question it anymore he went though lots of movments while he looked at how my spine reactedthen went on to trying to press areas of my spine. at the end he said my range of motion is fine but parts of my lower spine are so rigid that he said they wereas hard as pressing on a steel plate  my lower spine is not flexing at all and that is pulling on everythingfastend to it.that must be crusing my nerves and making the pains He seemed to know its my back not hips and legshe then said do 2 exercises for a week and come back said things are to soild to try anything till something movesthen we will try and get some movement back into you he said because this has been going on so long it wont be a quick fix  he got a model of the spine to show me how things are working he was suprised that i knew the parts and how it worked and i knew the surgestions he was going to say before he said them but i have tryed hard to fix myself  so i do know  i told him after the hard time ive had i got to the point where ive given up,i said i have lost my jobs he said i still have to try then it was over and off he went  i saw in in an office writing up a report on it all so i have to go back next week i was ment to go to London this week or so to see the turkish girl(my girl?)  or was ... but i now how some work to do over the next few days tuesday night and wendesday all day tuesday i may have to carry stuff again ..(yesterday i turned down another musical work offer )  feel dead to that now ..as if its a closed door i cant face going to london for a few days and back,its to far .... i went to turkey for her once ...first time on a plane and had to change planes twice in a foraigne contry now i feel dead about going on a 4 hour train ride . it would cost £100  but i dont feel that i would be loved if i didbefore i was 100% sure it was the one thing i did know  when people said your crazy i felt no im 100% sure that she loves me  .im at about 10% now