i did sort of another job today .if i had to explain it it would sound crazy.its a job where you do not workim used to working hard.today i did nothing and was paid well ive been offered other work but it means staning up all day now that is a problem today was hard but i didnt have to stand much   i still feel i cant talk about stuff .im drinking to much these days but im not at a place where i feel i can stop i have to many upsetting things with no answers .i dont even have sighn ? of seeing a doc even after all this time