ive had this thought a lotright now im the type that a cult would feed oni have no plan for my own life anymore .im lost i just want to feel wanted by anyone really.ive reached a dead end and i have no where left to gomost night i think about hurtting my self as an escape or even ending it at times i see the world like a trap .i need to feel better about who i ami feel worthlesspeople saying things is no use i dont beleive themi need to beleive in myself.i really dont  things are getting despreateand no one can see itor beleives it a while ago who i was was based round making sure my nice girlfreind was ok  i knew it wasnt my life but it gave me a reason i hate people who i see coping with life and the ones full off shit it make me seem more of a joke years ago i told myself i am a person i dont have to feel like im living in someone elses worldbut i still feel like thati dont feel good enough to live life