last night was quite badi felt very lost .i thought a lot about death and the people i had know who diedi thought about dave marshal and that old house he lived in.it was an old barn reallyi had been there .i had the image of him hanging in there till someone found him i last saw him at a wedding he was a guest with his girl friend when we first met i thought how he had such a wide emotional view of the world  he seemed like an open person always talking at an emotional level about the world and his relationships i felt like he was someone like me in a lot of ways a person not to fear but a person who shares  i guess that type is not ment to last in this world everyone needs a hard shell i knew there was a knife in my room last night and i did have a few thoughts but ive had worse times than this and im still standing so tomorrow im still standing  even though a few friends have layed down