im not up to a long post of working all this out  today im still ill with the cold thing a week now my2nd ear is hurtting now and i had to use ear drops in both something i am really trying not to dolast time i went deaf im trying to keep one ear going the feeling of silence the ear problem gives does not help at all .it makes the world seem even more strange to me as if im not here but all the mild pain im in reminds me that i am today took no pills i wanted to see how i really am walking makes me worse and by the end of the day i hurt  its not normal but its become that  .i havent read anything that says this will go awayim looking at next year as a goal now .im saying next year this will be in the past  a few other things happened today but i cant really bother to list it all i will when i feel i can.right now im feeling worn down i have my phone off a lot so i dont have to deal with people