just got back ini left at 3.30.its now 2am that was a free show so i dont get paid anythinga star from the james bond film casino royal was there it was a show buiz event and a top line backing band were therei would normaly hold my((i just spellt my as mi )hold my own against these and i would have funthinking it as a chanlenge and scare a few of them with what i can do but tonight i just limped my way though songs like a beginer people didnt arrive when they should have so i was left to carry a lot of equipment i eat pain killers like sweats every where i go im leaving a trail of pill cases im hoping i will feel free again and if a pill may do thatpeople dont understand how im feeling i have a general ache to my body but it makes me feel illi feel a tempreture.i am feeling ill im surposed to go to a rehersal to more i have to be in another town by 12and learn lots of singing for another show!after tonight im having big doubts if i can play it its very very depressing .i feel alone with this personal pain and problems can make you feel very alone
Replies
yes. they sure can make you feel alone.
in many ways, you are alone.
it\'s finding a way to soothe yourself that is key.
be careful with the pills.
they are a short term fix.
i know you know that already.
how about being proud for doing the gig with all you got going on!
that takes strength. i couldn\'t do it.
take care. you pushed past fear the other day.
that is never easy.
it can have lasting impact.
but it\'s good in the long run.
you are planting seeds to help life get easier.
keep up the good work.
i went to the rehersal
singing stuff
i did ok ive done lots like it before
at least i wasnt using my legs
i have been in a lot of pain today
.i thought i had 6 weeks to tell the old band im going but now i find its only 3 weeks
that is going to be a problem
spelling
\"to a rehersal to more\"\" =tomorrow im amased how my mind works with words
im am beeing strong to keep working
.i know im a mess but anyone else would have quit
its just so hard to do