looking back though the sex abuse group posts  its awfull ,it really is  its like storys from a 100 dead people the awfull things  im thinking a bout death more these days because im not well for a long time now and how my life has gone with relationships  it just feels like im not really ment to be here  .it would be no shock if i was going to die i never was any good alive   .i still thought about cutting my self the other night  shows how wise i amidiot  storys of othe SA  are not helping it just makes me think how sick the world is  .ive given up on the idead of a relationshipits something i will never have .i just have to make my life something  with things  i can buyor at least stop these small pains   i think im in a different place in my head to people i knowthey seem to ses some kind of future to thingsi just see another day where i will get destroyed againuntill i give up and hide till the day i die