im drunk but at least i dont feel  like" that"  now i just feel numb last night i did feel like i was going to cut myself a bit just to try and get out of all this stress and i hate to say that  makes me pathetic like that si page i dont know if its some   kind of phycological thing where i think ill be bettersome kind of fausle cure that i will beilve works  or maybe that its a shock to reach out side myself and not get so lost or even its a neiw view of myslefhating myself for a reason i can control this week has been very very hard for me im not screaming on my page . im not saying i will do terrable things to my self and crying out for help but this week has been very very hard for me in a silent way and that is very hard evey thing i feel comes out of me in key clicksand that is the silence of my emotions  maybe im hoping that if i type the right word i will be ok im not drunk enough .im still upset