bridges  when im near a bridge i always think myself going over the raileven when driving past i picture what it would feel like to be falling from iti start to not trust myself because its so stong and frighening the idead takes my breath away i first got that when i was depressed and i started to have clear imagesof ways i might kill myself ,,in my imagineation .i used to get the thing of wanting to open the door on a moving car it was a strong eurgue to get out even at high speed dispite the fact i would get hurt on the road..i would lock the doors so i couldnt just react or pinch my self to snap myself away from the idea  some times with people around it was hard to hide my stress about it  these things still have a small hold on me nothing as strong as it was  the briged one is the one that scares me most after all this time maybe they were early versions the self halm thoughts? i dont know .im just talking stuff out   nite