why am i talking about self harm  well its something i have had to think aboutfor a lot of years  i havent been a self harmer for years ,i had a small fall a while agobut its something you end up having to face for years  its like a fear of falling down in to what you were and its very scary  maybe you never ever will again but after knowing you can fall  in fact its like falling a fear of hights after you find your self in a situationwhere you are holding on a cliff in ways your mind can push you near that edge just to see if  you still can fall or you have faced the fear yet testing you the emotions that push you to this are so strong that it leaves a very deep inprint on youits one of the worst times of your life that repeated over and over and you feel like your soul has died  its not something you just walk away fromyou learn to cope again but in the end you are something you werent before