i hate my work making things for people.its even harder now that i feel im needing im giving my self to people  .im getting nothing i spent money today ,i tryed to make my self feel better but it didnt workbut i tryed   i looked on the friends re united site .but that was a stupid idea i had no friends and any that would know me are not my friend im still ill from that bad flumy hips and leg hurt a lot less but its still there  i called my turkish girl she rang and hung up earlyer when i rang back she said she hit the wrong key and didnt meen to call she was just going to text  anyway we talked a bit well she talked about herself and the call ended with me feeling like why did i bothershe didnt call today and i didnt call her she never calls me un less its for a reason im not upset by her walking off like this .im just depressed and i feel lost to what i do now i feel fairly unlove ableand no one ever cares for me and its been so many years now  life is horrible if you are not born the ones