I got locked out of here over xmass ive been alone a stupid sign in problem so ive sat by myself and had to deal with it  this xmass was lonley i was even cut off from the one place i have to say anything part of me said this is a sign saying shut up and move on in 5 days the person who i thought i may marry one day comes back to the ukbut i wont be seeing her that maybe a good thing she shut me out  so none say rubbish like go to see hershe closed the door  it happend again  anger do i feel anger is that what i should feel .its not anger its god ....again !!!!!!!and why do they do this to me and internal some thing  its not quite anger  .its seeing the card house fall again    and i dont know where my life is going nowthis felt like the last bus out of town in the middle of the night  and im stood on a dark road